Tending our gardens

What triggers those unwelcome reactions?

A few weeks ago, whilst my boss and his wife were away, I decided it would be a good idea to mow their lawn. During my childhood, at least once a month, I was seconded to the garden to help my dad mow the large areas of lawn we had. I remember resenting having to spend most of the day in the hot African sun, mowing the lawn, neatening the beds and being bitten by insects. To top it off, after we were done I still had the job of cleaning the mower, inside out. I have therefore not readily volunteered to mow any lawn since I moved out of my parents home. Fortunately, none of the places I subsequently lived in have had lawns that I have needed to mow.

But I decided it was time to do away with stinking thinking with regards tending gardens. As with many other things that I resented as a child, I have now grown to actually enjoy them. I have seen my boss sit on his petrol mower and drive it around the garden with some gusto, it looked like great fun. I had only ever used those hand-driven, electric mowers, so I was keen to try his yellow, motorised version.

The mower was parked in their garage and I simply got on it one day and thought, "how hard can this be, it can't surely be more difficult than driving a car." But surveying the numerous (unlabelled) pedals and levers and not getting any hum of an engine when I turned the key, I discovered it was not really that easy after all. I decided to ask a friend who knew to give me a driving lesson.

My boss is way over six feet tall and quite a strong, sturdy man. But since the mower was motorised, I thought it would be easy for anyone to drive it, even me. So my friend, gave me a driving lesson and watched as I tentatively took a test drive around the yard. After a few minutes, my friend who clearly thought I was capable enough, filled up the tank with petrol and left me to it.

So it was my mowing journey continued. What my car does have and this motorised mower does not have is...can you guess? POWER STEERING! Turning it around was really hard! I had to use all my strength to turn the steering wheel while the mower was going, especially if I wanted to miss the fences and beds of beautiful, blooming roses.
The same pedal is used for going forward as well as reversing. But only a certain amount of pressure was needed either way, otherwise the whole mower would jerk back or forth, so being completely launched off it because of too much pressure on the pedal was actually possible.
Lowering and lifting the suspension was also rather interesting as the whole weight of the front part (blades & all) was contained in that pedal. I learnt quite soon after the first time I bashed my knee that I needed to let that pedal go pretty swiftly after I put pressure on it. Then there was also the choke and letting the blades down and putting them back up again. There were levers and pedals everywhere. Nevertheless, with perseverance and determination, I mowed the lawn. At one point, I got off the mower to pick up a tree branch, the engine instantly cut out but a few seconds later a loud bang, almost like a gun shot rang out from the engine. It was alarming! I rang my friend for advice, I really didn't want to get back on if it was going to explode. But he said that these mowers were prone to doing that and it was nothing to be afraid of. Phew.

As I drove the mower, (which was excellent exercise) I felt Holy Spirit show me a parallel in us. We each have pedals, levers, buttons and switches. When pressure is applied to any one of those things, we produce a certain reaction, sometimes like a loud gun shot.
Although the pedals and levers on the mower weren't labelled, they did have pictograms with them so that when my friend explained what each one meant, I understood their function. For example, the choke has a tortoise at one end and a hare at the other end. No prizes for guessing what that means. The lever that controls the blades (whether they are up or down) also has pictograms, they are not as easy to understand but I eventually got it by experience.

People don't come with pictograms or labels, you can't ask a friend to come and teach you how to "drive" someone. Relationships can be fraught with difficulty and continuous strife which makes us unhappy and leaves us unfulfilled. The pedals and levers in us are unfortunately invisible, but when pressure is applied through a difficult situation, they do produce a tangible reaction. There are experiences and situations in our lives that leave their mark on us. Sometimes these marks become scars and underneath it lies a wound that can become infected again without much persuasion. Without realising it we may say something to someone, that was never meant to cause them harm, but by their reaction you can tell that there is an invisible lever there and you've hit a sensitive spot, suddenly you find you're launched off the mower. Everyone has these experiences that leave us with hidden pedals, levers and switches. These represent triggers in our lives.

When I was younger and something bad happened and I felt hurt, undermined, discouraged etc., I did as everyone around me did I swept it under the carpet, cried secretly and got on with life. As time passed, I thought about that hurt less and less. So the scar tissue formed but the wound was still there, waiting for the next situation with just the right amount of pressure and suddenly I was in reverse, struggling to steer myself out of a corner and heading for the fence. The triggers were not dealt with and therefore healing could not happen.

In his letter to the Hebrews, Paul talks about a certain rest that is available to us. There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. (Heb 4:9 KJV) - it is useful to read from chapter 3 verse 16, up until Chapter 4 verse 16 of Hebrews to enjoy a full understanding of the REST of God that is available to us. 

Let's face it, life is not easy, the road we walk as believers in Jesus Christ is called the "narrow" road. We endure trials to be refined and made more into the image of Jesus yet God says rejoice in these for we are being changed. Our journey is so much harder if we have hidden levers, pedals and switches and refuse to deal with them. The wounds beneath these triggers are causing us dis-ease and the pain will continue to resurface as we come across testing situations. But there is a rest for us from all these tormenting triggers. 


God provides a way for us to be free and at rest.
When we do not enter into God's rest, it is because of disobedience which is caused by unbelief. (see Hebrews 3:16-19). Each of us need to ask ourselves what we are disobedient in. Do we know what our triggers are?
Do we believe that Jesus came to set the captive in us free, to release us from triggers that reveal a deeper torment? Jesus is not just interested in mowing around the tree stump, He wants our gardens to be completely beautiful, He wants to uproot the tree stump. 

As we journey on this narrow road and spend time reading God's word, we will recognise through the prompting of the Holy Spirit that there are levers and buttons in us that need to be uprooted in their entirety. God does not expect us to deliver ourselves from these things. He helps us.
Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. For the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. 
(Heb 4:11-3 NKJV)

Interesting that the hidden things causing us dis-ease and discomfort are called "creatures". The spirit attached to the triggers that cause us to behave in ways we do not like and that we know is damaging to our relationships, is not of God. But we have a way out. Jesus came to set us free, completely free. Let us come before God and let His Word and His Holy Spirit show us those hidden blades that we let down every now and then, that mow down (dishonour) people.

These creatures could be fear, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, the list is long! What don't we feel comfortable talking to God or others about? What gives us a "ping" in our spirit, so that when pressure is applied, we jerk back? Who are we avoiding?

I had great satisfaction learning to navigate the mower but it was hard work. Spiritually it does not have to be the same, there is REST and FREEDOM for us in Jesus Christ. He has won for us liberty and joy. Since He's given it, let's make a decision to receive it.

Seeing then, that we have a High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses but was in all points tempted as we are yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4:14-16 NKJV)

When we see other people's triggers displayed, remember, let the one without sin throw the first stone. Let us have compassion on one another, as the Father had compassion on us, by sending His beloved Son. Let us help one another, so we rid the body of pedals, levers, blades and triggers.

Stand fast therefore in the freedom which Christ has made free and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1 NKJV)