Transformation

Here in the UK, we've had a wonderful summer. For me, in my short time here, its been the best summer I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Temperatures tipped the 30 degree mark at one point, I was really happy! The English countryside was in full bloom after the Spring rains, the roses, flowers and trees were all bursting forth with life. The bees and birds kept us good company and then in the last three weeks there have also been a great number of beautiful butterflies fluttering around the lavender bushes and flowers.

I have so enjoyed seeing the land come alive, every bit of it buzzing with life. Being on a farm and living in the countryside helps to reinforce the changing seasons. Just watching the bees and butterflies has brought me great joy. A few others have also noticed the great number of butterflies this year, twirling in the air, sprinkling the atmosphere with life and colour. As I enjoyed them I felt a prompting to find out more about their lives.

We know that butterflies do not start out so beautifully colourful or so graceful. 

I've learnt there are four stages that a butterfly has to go through in order to become one. 

The first stage is laying the egg...
An adult mother butterfly has to lay an egg on a leaf. Not just any leaf but a leaf that the caterpillar (who will emerge from the egg) will eat. When caterpillars hatch out of the egg, they are not strong enough to crawl anywhere so they need to be able to eat the leaf into which they were born.

The second stage is the larva stage...
This is where the eggs hatch and produce what we call caterpillars. They are short, stubby and weak when they are first born. Then they eat the leaf they were born into and are strengthened to travel about to find more food. The caterpillar's focus is food, it needs to eat and eat lots so that it can grow quickly and reach the next stage.

The third stage is the pupa stage...
This is a fascinating part of a butterfly's life cycle, for me it's the best part. Once the caterpillar has eaten all it needs, to grow as much as possible, it starts to form a pupa or chrysalis. It hangs upside down from a branch or twig, folds itself in and wraps itself up real snug. This where the process of change happens and wings and body are formed. This amazing change is called metamorphosis.

The fourth stage is the birthing of the butterfly...
Once the pupa has undergone the process of change and metamorphosis is complete it becomes a butterfly. It has to push it's way through the chrysalis to emerge into the world. The wings are not strong enough for flying yet though but after a few hours of pumping blood into its wings, it will get ready to fly and then off it goes!

In his letter to the Romans, chapter 11, verse 36 to chapter 12 verse 2 (KJV): For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things to whom be the glory for ever. Amen. I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to the ways of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Looking at the verses above, there is an outline of a process of transformation that we need to go through...

• Recognising who God is and who we are in Him (we are born of Him)
• Recognising and accepting God's mercy 
• Presenting ourselves to God as a holy and acceptable living sacrifice
• Detaching ourselves from the ways of this world and being transformed by the renewing of our minds

The word transform in the scripture above in the original Greek is metamorphoo*, which means to change into another form, to transform, to transfigure. It is the same word used to describe the process the caterpillar or larva undergoes within the chrysalis to become a butterfly. It is also the same word used to describe Jesus' appearance on a high mountain: And after six days Jesus took Peter, James and John his brother, and brought them up into an high mountain apart, and was transfigured before them, and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light. (Matt 17:20 KJV)

The fruit of the chrysalis is a beautiful butterfly. The fruit of the process of transformation by the renewing of our minds is knowing the good, acceptable, perfect will of God. Both result in beauty (establishing the Kingdom on earth), both enable flight. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 KJV)

It seems that a sign of submission to the renewing of the mind is that we do not think too highly of ourselves. As Paul goes on to say in Romans 12, verse 3: For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think but to think soberly according as God has dealt to every man the measure of faith.

How often have we asked God what His will is, what He wants us to do in a certain situation or season or even just what He wants us to do that day. We can know God's will, it is available to us. Paul's words are an exciting invitation to know these things. It is Father's good pleasure for us to know His will and then do His will. Let us accept the invitation to get transformed so we can let the blood flow into our wings and do all that we have been created to do according to the good, acceptable and perfect will of God.

Spot the bee!

*Source: Blue Letter Bible

Tending our gardens

What triggers those unwelcome reactions?

A few weeks ago, whilst my boss and his wife were away, I decided it would be a good idea to mow their lawn. During my childhood, at least once a month, I was seconded to the garden to help my dad mow the large areas of lawn we had. I remember resenting having to spend most of the day in the hot African sun, mowing the lawn, neatening the beds and being bitten by insects. To top it off, after we were done I still had the job of cleaning the mower, inside out. I have therefore not readily volunteered to mow any lawn since I moved out of my parents home. Fortunately, none of the places I subsequently lived in have had lawns that I have needed to mow.

But I decided it was time to do away with stinking thinking with regards tending gardens. As with many other things that I resented as a child, I have now grown to actually enjoy them. I have seen my boss sit on his petrol mower and drive it around the garden with some gusto, it looked like great fun. I had only ever used those hand-driven, electric mowers, so I was keen to try his yellow, motorised version.

The mower was parked in their garage and I simply got on it one day and thought, "how hard can this be, it can't surely be more difficult than driving a car." But surveying the numerous (unlabelled) pedals and levers and not getting any hum of an engine when I turned the key, I discovered it was not really that easy after all. I decided to ask a friend who knew to give me a driving lesson.

My boss is way over six feet tall and quite a strong, sturdy man. But since the mower was motorised, I thought it would be easy for anyone to drive it, even me. So my friend, gave me a driving lesson and watched as I tentatively took a test drive around the yard. After a few minutes, my friend who clearly thought I was capable enough, filled up the tank with petrol and left me to it.

So it was my mowing journey continued. What my car does have and this motorised mower does not have is...can you guess? POWER STEERING! Turning it around was really hard! I had to use all my strength to turn the steering wheel while the mower was going, especially if I wanted to miss the fences and beds of beautiful, blooming roses.
The same pedal is used for going forward as well as reversing. But only a certain amount of pressure was needed either way, otherwise the whole mower would jerk back or forth, so being completely launched off it because of too much pressure on the pedal was actually possible.
Lowering and lifting the suspension was also rather interesting as the whole weight of the front part (blades & all) was contained in that pedal. I learnt quite soon after the first time I bashed my knee that I needed to let that pedal go pretty swiftly after I put pressure on it. Then there was also the choke and letting the blades down and putting them back up again. There were levers and pedals everywhere. Nevertheless, with perseverance and determination, I mowed the lawn. At one point, I got off the mower to pick up a tree branch, the engine instantly cut out but a few seconds later a loud bang, almost like a gun shot rang out from the engine. It was alarming! I rang my friend for advice, I really didn't want to get back on if it was going to explode. But he said that these mowers were prone to doing that and it was nothing to be afraid of. Phew.

As I drove the mower, (which was excellent exercise) I felt Holy Spirit show me a parallel in us. We each have pedals, levers, buttons and switches. When pressure is applied to any one of those things, we produce a certain reaction, sometimes like a loud gun shot.
Although the pedals and levers on the mower weren't labelled, they did have pictograms with them so that when my friend explained what each one meant, I understood their function. For example, the choke has a tortoise at one end and a hare at the other end. No prizes for guessing what that means. The lever that controls the blades (whether they are up or down) also has pictograms, they are not as easy to understand but I eventually got it by experience.

People don't come with pictograms or labels, you can't ask a friend to come and teach you how to "drive" someone. Relationships can be fraught with difficulty and continuous strife which makes us unhappy and leaves us unfulfilled. The pedals and levers in us are unfortunately invisible, but when pressure is applied through a difficult situation, they do produce a tangible reaction. There are experiences and situations in our lives that leave their mark on us. Sometimes these marks become scars and underneath it lies a wound that can become infected again without much persuasion. Without realising it we may say something to someone, that was never meant to cause them harm, but by their reaction you can tell that there is an invisible lever there and you've hit a sensitive spot, suddenly you find you're launched off the mower. Everyone has these experiences that leave us with hidden pedals, levers and switches. These represent triggers in our lives.

When I was younger and something bad happened and I felt hurt, undermined, discouraged etc., I did as everyone around me did I swept it under the carpet, cried secretly and got on with life. As time passed, I thought about that hurt less and less. So the scar tissue formed but the wound was still there, waiting for the next situation with just the right amount of pressure and suddenly I was in reverse, struggling to steer myself out of a corner and heading for the fence. The triggers were not dealt with and therefore healing could not happen.

In his letter to the Hebrews, Paul talks about a certain rest that is available to us. There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. (Heb 4:9 KJV) - it is useful to read from chapter 3 verse 16, up until Chapter 4 verse 16 of Hebrews to enjoy a full understanding of the REST of God that is available to us. 

Let's face it, life is not easy, the road we walk as believers in Jesus Christ is called the "narrow" road. We endure trials to be refined and made more into the image of Jesus yet God says rejoice in these for we are being changed. Our journey is so much harder if we have hidden levers, pedals and switches and refuse to deal with them. The wounds beneath these triggers are causing us dis-ease and the pain will continue to resurface as we come across testing situations. But there is a rest for us from all these tormenting triggers. 


God provides a way for us to be free and at rest.
When we do not enter into God's rest, it is because of disobedience which is caused by unbelief. (see Hebrews 3:16-19). Each of us need to ask ourselves what we are disobedient in. Do we know what our triggers are?
Do we believe that Jesus came to set the captive in us free, to release us from triggers that reveal a deeper torment? Jesus is not just interested in mowing around the tree stump, He wants our gardens to be completely beautiful, He wants to uproot the tree stump. 

As we journey on this narrow road and spend time reading God's word, we will recognise through the prompting of the Holy Spirit that there are levers and buttons in us that need to be uprooted in their entirety. God does not expect us to deliver ourselves from these things. He helps us.
Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. For the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. 
(Heb 4:11-3 NKJV)

Interesting that the hidden things causing us dis-ease and discomfort are called "creatures". The spirit attached to the triggers that cause us to behave in ways we do not like and that we know is damaging to our relationships, is not of God. But we have a way out. Jesus came to set us free, completely free. Let us come before God and let His Word and His Holy Spirit show us those hidden blades that we let down every now and then, that mow down (dishonour) people.

These creatures could be fear, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, the list is long! What don't we feel comfortable talking to God or others about? What gives us a "ping" in our spirit, so that when pressure is applied, we jerk back? Who are we avoiding?

I had great satisfaction learning to navigate the mower but it was hard work. Spiritually it does not have to be the same, there is REST and FREEDOM for us in Jesus Christ. He has won for us liberty and joy. Since He's given it, let's make a decision to receive it.

Seeing then, that we have a High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses but was in all points tempted as we are yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4:14-16 NKJV)

When we see other people's triggers displayed, remember, let the one without sin throw the first stone. Let us have compassion on one another, as the Father had compassion on us, by sending His beloved Son. Let us help one another, so we rid the body of pedals, levers, blades and triggers.

Stand fast therefore in the freedom which Christ has made free and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1 NKJV)

What's in a name

NAME (noun)
A word by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known, addressed or referred to.

In Biblical times the giving of names was usually an indication of the season, place, time and circumstances surrounding the birth of a baby. Today, depending on the culture we are born into, naming is done in a variety of ways but it rarely has anything to do with the literal circumstances of the birth. Regardless of how we go about naming, my questions are:

1) Are names important to God? 

2) What effect do they have on our lives, if any?

The importance of a NAME

The scripture evidence of the importance of names to God is clearly seen in Genesis, where God changed Abram to Abraham. 

From Abram to Abraham:

Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. (Gen 17:5 KJV)

From Sarai to Sarah:

And God said unto Abraham, “As for Sarai thy wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her and give thee a son also of her; yea I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be of her.” Then Abraham fell upon his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? And shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?” And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before Thee!” Then God said: “Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed, and you shall call his name Isaac; I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him. (Gen 17:15-19 KJV)

Abram means "exalted father", whilst Abraham means "father of a multitude"*
Sarai means "princess", whilst Sarah means "noble woman"*

Isaac means "he laughed"*

Even before Abraham’s renaming, we see in that whilst He brought forth all creation, how in His pleasure, God also gave names: God called the light, Day and the darkness He called, Night… And God called the firmament Heaven... And God called the dry land, Earth.  (Gen 1:5-8 KJV)

After God created Adam (whose name means "man" and also denotes the Hebrew root word for "red" or "ruddy"* i.e. coming from the earth) He then brought the animals and birds to Adam "to see what he would call them and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof."  (Gen. 2:19 KJV)

Part of Adam's dominion and authority over the earth was to give names. It seems that God took such pleasure in naming creation, He wanted Adam to experience the same. Names often reveal the function or nature of an animal or bird, and so too for us, it has a part to play in the unfolding of our lives.

So it’s clear if God changed names and gave names, they have significance but not just to God...

The effect of a NAME

Did Abraham become the "father of a multitude"? Yes, He did! His descendants stretch through the generations, as the stars in the heaven and the sand on the seashore. (Gen. 22:17)

Did Sarah become the mother of many nations and did kings of peoples come from this noble woman? Yes!

The book of Ruth is a good example of how names affect destinies. The events in the book of Ruth take place at a time of famine. People were so desperate for food, that one Israelite family even set out for the country of Moab (not exactly friendly territory) to try and survive. Let’s look at the names of the main people mentioned in this book:

·        Elimelech (head of the family) means “my God is king”*

·        Naomi, (Elimelech’s wife) means “my delight”*

·       Mahlon (a son of Elimelech & Naomi) means “sick”*, which is derived from “chalah” in Hebrew, meaning: to be or become weak, be or become sick, be or become diseased, be or become grieved, be or become sorry

·        Chilion (another son) – meaning “pining”*, which is derived from “killayown” in Hebrew, meaning: 1) completion, destruction, consumption, annihilation, 2) failing, pining

·        Ruth (daughter-in-law) means “friendship”*

·        Orpah (daughter-in-law) means “gazelle”*, derived from “oreph”, meaning back of the neck; stiff of neck or obstinate.

·        Boaz means “fleetness”, rapidity of movement*

As the story unfolds we see the death of Elimelech, the head of the household. His sons had chosen wives from the women of Moab but just ten years later, both sons die. Is this surprising considering the meaning of their names?

So Naomi plans to return to Bethlehem where she is from but she tells her daughters-in-law Ruth and Orpah to go back to their mothers; their people and their gods as there seems to be no future for them with her. Naomi was insistent. After an initial reluctance, Orpah does go back to her people. But Ruth says this:

“Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. 

(Ruth 1: 16 NKJV)

How clearly we see the friendship in Ruth being displayed here! Ruth is not just offering to hold Naomi's hand or accompany her back to Bethlehem, she makes a commitment to stick, no matter what comes - she literally lived out her name and her God-given destiny.

Upon her return to her town, Naomi no longer wants to be called Naomi, she recognises that circumstances have left her anything but "delighted" so she says to the women of Bethlehem, call me “Mara”:

Now the two of them went until they came to Bethlehem. And it happened, when they had come to Bethlehem, that all the city was excited because of them; and the women said, “Is this Naomi?”But she said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?”

(Ruth 1:19-21 NKJV)

As for Boaz, when he was approached to “redeem” the land and widow (Ruth), which he was in a position to do, he acted swiftly. Not only did he know that he needed to act swiftly but so did Naomi, for she said to Ruth:

“Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.”

(Ruth 3: 18 NKJV)

It is clear to see how our names and the meaning of our names affect our lives. Not only the names that we are given on our birth certificates but also nicknames or aliases, anything from which identity is derived important.

For my part, I have three names. The first two are of Hindu origin. The third is of Greek. All three of them have meanings. The first two were given after consultation with a Hindu priest. The effect was that partly due to these names and their meanings, my destiny in Jesus had been blocked. Thankfully, the solution is quite easy. The blood of Jesus washed away all of those meanings, all of the effects of those meanings and I was released from the bondage of being called names and destinies that were not meant for me.

I was consistently bullied through high school and even the power of those names that I had been called, have been washed away by the blood of Jesus. The effects of those names (trauma, sadness, rejection) have also all disappeared because again, the blood of Jesus washes us whiter than snow.

Jesus shows us in Matthew 5:22 how what we call others, even in a moment of anger, has consequences: 

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. (NKJV)

"Raca" is of Aramaic origin and means: empty, i.e. a senseless, empty headed man*

Names are important and affect all our God-given destinies. 

*Source: Blue Letter Bible

Old Wells

Unstop the wells

Then Isaac sowed in that land, and reaped in the same year a hundredfold; and the Lord blessed him. The man began to prosper, and continued prospering until he became very prosperous; for he had possessions of flocks and possessions of herds and a great number of servants. So the Philistines envied him. Now the Philistines had stopped up all the wells which his father’s servants had dug in the days of Abraham his father, and they had filled them with earth. And Abimelech said to Isaac, “Go away from us, for you are much mightier than we.”

Then Isaac departed from there and pitched his tent in the Valley of Gerar, and dwelt there. And Isaac dug again the wells of water which they had dug in the days of Abraham his father, for the Philistines had stopped them up after the death of Abraham. He called them by the names which his father had called them.
Also Isaac’s servants dug in the valley, and found a well of running water there. But the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen, saying, “The water is ours.” So he called the name of the well Esek, because they quarreled with him. Then they dug another well, and they quarreled over that one also. So he called its name Sitnah. And he moved from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it. So he called its name Rehoboth, because he said, “For now the Lord has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.”

Genesis 26:12-22 (NKJV)

The first mention of a well in Isaac's generation is found in the scripture above. Interesting it is mentioned not because wells are being discovered (Abraham had already done that) but because they had to be dug again (unstopped). In Genesis 21:22-32 we see that one of the wells Abraham dug became a dispute between him and the Philistines. Wells were part of God's blessing to Abraham and then to Isaac (they prospered in the land they were given) but they were also a point of contention. Abraham, the older generation, dug the well and he also fought to keep the well but with time the enemy came in and stopped the well. To receive the original blessing of the well, Isaac, the next generation, had to unstop the well. Is there a pattern to follow?

Are we the Isaacs of this generation?

Is Holy Spirit saying to us, "I have sent the Abrahams ahead of you to dig the well and establish a place where living waters can again be found, take on the mantle of Isaac, unstop the well."?

On Saturday, 25th May, a friend and I visited Moriah Chapel, Swansea, Wales. This is the Chapel in which Evan Roberts prayed, "Bend me, Lord". And God, in His mercy, answered and the rivers of heaven were unleashed.

I have wanted to go to Moriah Chapel for a long time. The seed had been firmly planted in 2010 as I listened to Beni Johnson share the testimony of a Welsh girl who had attended their Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding California. This Welsh girl beheld the angel of the 1904 revival, she was sent to awaken him to propel us into the next wave of living waters. Read the testimony here: Wakey Wakey!

The chapel was closed when we got there so we went around the back and prayed in the graveyard. As we sought the Lord there, with the sun shining on us, Holy Spirit gave me a new song:

I cry out to the old wells

I sing out to the rivers that run deep

Come forth, come forth

Wash this land

Wash our feet

Flood our nations

I cry out to the old wells

I sing out to the rivers of living waters

Come forth, come forth

My eyes were opened and God showed me that some of us had let our faith become like a graveyard, with old monuments that cried out "look what has been done" but there was no faith to proclaim "look what shall be done". I saw a picture of a dusty church. We repented and shook the dust off. He always gives us a way out, this is grace.

We sang, prayed and cried out for Father to pour out His Spirit until two women came through the side gate towards us. One of them was the secretary to the chapel and the other was a young lady from Manchester. The latter had heeded God's call to pray at Moriah Chapel that very weekend. 

The secretary, a kind-hearted soul, let us into the Chapel. After reading the brief history of the 1904 revival, I settled into a pew to pray. When you're in that place, soaked with such faith, such prayer, you can't help but feel reverence for the presence of God. After only a wee while of contemplative prayer, the young lady from Manchester burst out of her pew and said, "Would you mind if I just prayed out loud? Sometimes you just have to!" We told her to go for it.

Her sweet voice filled the air as she petitioned the Living God, I found myself very quickly on my knees, crying with her, desperate for the Lord. Desperate for Him. We cried out for mercy and God broke our hearts with His compassion as He led us through His Spirit to pray for among other things: young people, broken marriages, healing, reconciliation...

As we prayed I had a picture of wells being unstopped. I saw their covers bursting off and waters gushing forth, like fire hydrants loosed. I saw four wells in the same place being simultaneously unstopped as they burst forth, the water came with

such power that they were vertical columns. Even though the power of the water was so strong, people could easily walk through them and as they did, they were cleansed, they were made new.

Moriah Chapel is an old well. Evan Roberts (an Abraham) had been obedient and dug the well. He remained obedient in his covenant with the Lord as the Lord bent him and he died to the flesh. Who are the Isaac's that will unstop the old wells? 

Evan Roberts words are inscribed on the stone outside Moriah Chapel, it says:

Dear Friend. God loves you. Therefore, seek Him diligently; Pray to Him earnestly. Read His Word constantly. Yours in the Gospel. Evan Roberts.

The second picture I saw was of the nation being covered in water!
Everyone was ankle deep* in living waters. 

The Sea of Galilee

Thereafter, I saw a third picture of a farmer with a horse and cart. The cart was loaded with seed.

I have sent you to reap for that which you have not laboured; others have laboured and you have entered their labours. John 4:38 (NKJV)

Will there be resistance as we unstop the wells? Yes! Both Abraham and Isaac had quarrels with the Philistines who wanted possession of the waters. What did Isaac do? He unstopped another well and then again another one. The resistance did not stop him. 

And let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:7-10 (NKJV)

Does our faith need to be resurrected from the graveyard and unstopped so that we receive the eyes to see the old wells in our midst? Will you dare to shout "Wakey! Wakey!"?

The angel has been awakened, the momentum is available, the urgency is growing.

C'mon Isaac, get your spade out!

One of the words I received for this year is ACCELERATION.

There is a momentum available to us in the Spirit that will propel us with His power into a posture where we will see the will of Father manifesting quickly.

As we departed from Moriah Chapel, we made our way to Victory Church in Cwbran: Victory Church Outpouring. Here God is pouring out His spirit and we were able to partake in the already rising waters of an unstopped well, our feet are wet. Now that's what I call acceleration!


*A friend had a word from the Lord to go and pray at the beach morning and evening and let his feet be ankle deep in the water, this I heard today, 28th May.

Noise grrr...

I live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet...(perhaps a little biased but if you were here and looking out at lush forest, listening to the rushing rapids, surrounded by birdsong and flowers, perhaps you would agree).

I wouldn't have chosen this is a place of residence, I thought the rent was too high. It's a beautiful cottage with three stories and it is filled with the sweet presence of God inside and out. He chose it for me and when I asked, how I was going to save any money (as the rent was so high), He asked in answer, what are you saving for? I was stumped so I moved in.

More than three years later, I have grown comfortable in my sanctuary hidden in the mountainside. The forest is my backyard and usually the only sound is birdsong and even they seem to go to sleep at night. This morning, on a public holiday, my plan was to spoil myself with a great (yawn) lie in.
At around 8am, I was awoken by an electric saw. I shuffled around in bed and hoped it would stop very soon but off course it got louder. It stopped after a little while and I promptly fell asleep again (I've been tired from several late nights in a row) but the peace didn't last very long as it started up again.
I dragged myself out of bed, put on my robe and poked an annoyed face through my bedroom window to find tree surgeons working their way through a tall and mighty fir. In my mind I thought, Lord, I just wanted some sleep, it isn't fair to have this kind of noise on a public holiday, who cuts down trees on a public holiday anyway?

The noise continued for another two hours. By this time I had, had my breakfast, was fully awake and able to hear what the Holy Spirit had to say about all this racket.

As usual, He had a different idea. He prompted me to serve them, to bless them instead of cursing them (through my thoughts) for inconveniencing me. When He suggested this alternative thinking, I felt like I was behaving as if I was a princess in my high tower, banging my petite fists against the bedcovers because I didn't get my way, I had wanted the world to quieten down for me. Et voila, the pride in my heart was uncovered!
But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Matthew 5:22 (NKJV)

As soon as Holy Spirit kindly brought this to my attention I sprang to action. I hadn't planned on getting out of my pyjamas and robe until much later but I got cleaned up and pulled back my sleepy hair, all the while checking that the tree surgeons hadn't left. I launched out of the back door. The fir was cut down but they were nowhere to be seen.
I don't usually like walking outside in my bedroom slippers as they are really indoor shoes (I can be finickity like that) but I had to find them, I was determined to bless instead of curse, I chose to ignore that I was wearing bedroom slippers and proceeded down the steps. A small victory over pedantics.

Their truck was still there and I was relieved to find them eating their elevenses (mid-morning snack). So I offered coffee and one of them gladly accepted. As I walked back to my kitchen, I was suddenly overcome by great compassion. I wept in the kitchen as I made the coffee. Holy Spirit opened my eyes and showed me how He loved them and how He wanted to bless them today. So He chose me to work with Him to bring about this blessing...

Later on, as they continued (for hours) working on some other trees, I prayed for them and Holy Spirit said to me (of the one who accepted my offer of coffee): "He is the eldest child in his family and he needs the firstborn blessing spoken over him."
Genesis 27 shows us how important the firstborn blessing is, in fact so important that when Isaac found he had blessed Jacob instead of Esau "he trembled exceedingly":

And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am. ²⁵ And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son's venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine and he drank. ²⁶ And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. ²⁷ And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the Lord hath blessed: ²⁸ Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine: ²⁹ Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.

³⁰ And it came to pass, as soon as Isaac had made an end of blessing Jacob, and Jacob was yet scarce gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting.

³¹ And he also had made savoury meat, and brought it unto his father, and said unto his father, Let my father arise, and eat of his son's venison, that thy soul may bless me.³² And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau. ³³ And Isaac trembled very exceedingly, and said, Who? where is he that hath taken venison, and brought it me, and I have eaten of all before thou camest, and have blessed him? yea, and he shall be blessed. (KJV)

I needed a chance to pray this blessing over this man. But as I had felt resistance from his colleague, I waited for an opportunity to speak to him on his own. But no opportunity seemed to come. I thought I had missed it. Oh me of little faith! If only I had realised that it was God's plan to bless him, not mine and certainly not in my own strength, I would have remained in hope, thanking God that the opportunity was yet to come, instead of thinking I had missed it. How often do we quit because we think we've missed it.

A little while later there was a knock on the door. The guy I was meant to pray for came to say thank you and goodbye. We had a little chat and I asked him if he was indeed the eldest in his family and he said, yes. So I told him God had revealed it to me and asked him if he would accept prayer. He said yes.

My friend, Greg Violi (http://www.greg-violi.com/en/) teaches this: God will always cover your mistakes but He will never cover your pride. Humble yourself and accept His discipline.

How gracious of God that He gave me an opportunity to repent and be blessed by blessing someone else. What a wonderfully, noisy day I've had!

Love thy neighbour as yourself.

Do my words matter?

We all say things that we regret, sometimes the words are out of our mouths so quick and the effect so harsh we can hardly believe we've said them. There is a saying in the world, "Time heals all wounds". Have you ever found this to be true? 

I've found over time it gets easier to forget the sting of the words and the emotions attached to the trauma of hearing hard words but is forgetting and healing the same?

The Miriam Webster dictionary defines healing as:

1) To make sound or whole

2) To restore to health

3) To cause (an undesirable condition) to be overcome

4) To patch up (a breach or division)

5) To restore to original purity or integrity

The word "heal", "healing or "healed" in Greek is "therapeuō", in the gospels it appears 44 times. The Blue Letter Bible gives the meaning of "therapeuō" as: 

1) serve, or do service

2) heal, cure, restore to health

Therapeuō is used in verses like: "And Jesus said unto him, I will come and heal him" in Matthew 8:7 (Jesus responding to the Centurion's request to heal his servant).

In 2000, I worked in financial services and was fortunate enough to work with a great team of people. One of them, Anthony*, became a very close friend. We hung out a lot after work and over the years we became much like family. One Friday, as we left work to enjoy the weekend, I said to Anthony, "I'll call you [over the weekend]." 

I remember the weekend only vaguely but I do remember spending it with my extended family, I probably had a great weekend, my family are great fun. 

So back at work on Monday morning, Anthony called me outside for a chat. We worked in a lovely, new building that had sweeping steps up to the entrance. So we stood on the first couple of steps in the sunshine, presumably out of earshot, and behold...a tirade of hurt and pain began to issue forth from my friend. I am not a morning person and was probably only just waking up mentally and emotionally at that time of the day. The words were like bullets straight into my heart. I was awake soon enough after that! In simple terms, my friend was hurt that I had said I would call and hadn't, "friends just don't treat each other like that". Anthony had an expectation of time being spent together and it had never materialised. My words that Friday were so casual, they just fell out of my mouth, "I'll call you." I probably had said it quite often without ever meaning it. I can say for sure that at that time I didn't feel responsible for what I said.The result of the tirade was that I immediately put up a wall to preserve myself from any more hurt, not surprising our friendship very soon fizzled away.

A few months later another colleague (also a good friend) and I were talking and she asked, "What if I say horrible things to you, will you cut me out of your life too?" She was crying as she asked me this because (now I realise) she felt fear that at any moment the axe would come down and we'd never see each other again. I assured her that it was different with her and I wouldn't cut her off. I had different standards for different friends. I felt justified in cutting off Anthony. The level of closeness we had justified my behaviour toward him, "such close friends just don't treat each other like that, so this is how I will punish him."

March 2006, Jesus Christ reveals Himself to me and there begins my journey of learning how to truly love.

Fast forward to 2012... I had heard that Anthony's parents passed away (I knew how close they were), it was an opportunity provided by the Holy Spirit. I got his postal address off a mutual contact and wrote to him. It was a long letter in which I tried to condense 12 years of my life, including explaining my new found freedom in Jesus. I apologised for ending our friendship so abruptly, I asked for forgiveness for the pain I had obviously caused. Not only did I cause pain by not living up to my words but I also caused pain by ending the friendship without any explanation. Two wrongs do not make a right.

Anthony received the letter on the very day he was in town for a quick visit (there are no coincidences). I received an email shortly afterwards, we were reconciled. Yes, he graciously accepted my apology but he wanted to know, why I had cut him out of my life.

In my ignorance, I did not want to dig up the ugliness so I was reluctant to tell him. But he pressed me. Why? Because the wound was still there, time had not healed it.  You see, he didn't realise that just as my words had hurt him, his words had equally hurt me. Protecting him (or myself) by not telling him why was not going to bring healing. Real love tells you when you're out of line, when your breath smells bad, when a booger hangs out of your nose...there is no fear in perfect love.

So I confessed to him how his words had hurt me and how my heart had put up thick walls of defence. Determined never to be hurt again, I did the only thing I knew how to do, I cut him out of my life. 

I can't change what I did, neither can he but that does not matter. After 12 years of living with wounds that time did not heal, in one moment, we had healing.
Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that ye may be healed... James 5:16 (KJV)

December 2012... I had to attend a business dinner. My colleague offered to pick me up (we don't live very far from each other). I accepted the gracious offer and agreed a time to meet at my house. It was my last day at the office before I went on holiday so there were a few things I needed to sort out before going away, I worked much later than I intended to. I had also planned to drop off a gift at a friend's home before dinner. Time had run out...I had overloaded myself with things to do. I knew I wasn't going to make it home on time for my colleague to collect me. So I rang her to say I would go directly to the restaurant. Her mobile was switched off. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me, to get her to answer her phone. I must've tried 20 times. Then I really had no choice and drove home, even if I was late at least I'd be there. As I made my way home, as fast as I could down my narrow mountain lane, the Holy Spirit said to me, "You gave your word, mean what you say and say what you mean". I wept with gratitude. Thank God for His mercy in disciplining me so gently.

I made it home just before my colleague arrived. It was a pleasure to be driven.

Our words matter. There is only one Healer and He does not patch up; leave scars; "allow things to run their course",  or leave it to time (a dimension is submission to Him), He intentionally serves us with restoration, so we are whole again. And, out of the wholeness we have received, we speak words of life.

*Names changed