Two By Two

You think you know how to love someone until something like this happens.

I had my last day at work on May 31st, 2013. It was the end of a six year season. It was during that last week of May as I prepared to say goodbye to the old and enter into the new that I heard God say, "This is a season of two-by-two." My friend Deborah was due to arrive on June 1st. She was coming to help me pack and move but also to spend time together. Little did either of us know what was up ahead. She had only planned to come for the weekend but ended up staying for ten days. Our friendship went from extraordinary to divine. Holy Spirit was with us in every way every day, He inhabited our conversations and our thoughts and dreams. The joy we had in each other's company was pure and immeasurable. I remember the day before Deborah was to return home, I wept with sadness feeling as if a part of me was leaving with her. The love and closeness I felt was not of this world, it wasn't something I worked up or asked for, it was a gift from God. 

In one accord

Before she left in June we both knew that somehow God would bring us together again. By early July Deborah was offered a job at the same place I worked at and in the middle of July we began our journey together. God fulfilled the words He had spoken to both of us. 

I had lived on my own for many years. I sometimes thought that perhaps I'd struggle sharing my space with someone. I had prayed for those six years for God to bring along a friend that I could share life with, someone to hang out with, to go for walks with, to pray with, to laugh with. Here was Deborah, my answer to prayer. The joy I had on receiving my answer to prayer far outweighed any thoughts about how precious my space or independence were, they became meaningless. Here was a person that God had set apart to be my friend. We didn't just get to hang out, pray together and eat together now and then. We lived together and shared everything all the time. 

I have read that verse in the Bible, "love your neighbour as you love yourself" and I have heard sermons preached on it. I have contemplated it. But I have not lived it, truly lived it as I have been able to the last eight months. Here's a glimpse of what that love looked like... it's truly listening to someone and hearing what they're saying beyond the words. Then when you notice the need, the love in you compels you to work with God to meet that need even when its inconvenient. It's getting to know someone's spiritual character and knowing that when they're behaving out of that character, they need help not judgement. It's noticing what someone likes and what they don't. It's praying with someone with a heart so filled with compassion you'll wait until their breakthrough comes, no matter how long it takes. It's letting love show when all you want to do is the opposite. It's giving hugs and showing affection even if you don't get it back. It's knowing when to be quiet and knowing when to speak. It's speaking the truth instead of turning a blind eye. It's correcting someone without hurting them. It's celebrating someone who doesn't want to be celebrated. It's choosing to honour someone when you could easily make a joke and be the funny person. It's being honest without fear of being judged. It's rejoicing in another's victory. It's allowing someone to teach you something without feeling shame for not knowing it in the first place. It's forgiving every time and speaking it out so the other person knows where you're at. It's communicating even when you're not in the mood to because you're responsible for the atmosphere you live in. It's taking the other person into consideration before you make plans. It's praying together through things, both equally pressing into God for each other. It's putting another's life before your own. 

You can't just love your neighbour without the love of God. Because to love is to sacrifice. Love costs something. 

It took several days to get my stuff packed and the house cleaned so I could move. I remember Deborah getting stuck in, wrapping things, packing boxes, skilfully packing the car to accommodate much more than I would ever have been able to and cleaning. There was no reward in it for her except helping a friend. I never once felt like I couldn't rely on her and in the midst of all that work, we had great fun. 

Ever since Deborah arrived on the farm we both worked on, she had taken it upon herself to wash and clean the car God had blessed us with. She never once hesitated to do it. She enjoyed doing it. It was a kindness that was a great blessing to me, especially on really cold days when I didn't want to be outside! 

Whenever I began to cook a meal, she would come and ask me, "What can I do to help? It may seem like a little thing but when you have spent years cooking for yourself and eating by yourself, it is a pleasure to share simple tasks with someone. For Deborah, it was the start of God teaching her all about food and flavours and eventually giving her great enjoyment in cooking.

The Surprise

Deborah once asked me to keep a Friday night free. She didn't give me any other details, just to keep it free. On the night, we got dressed and she drove us to a nearby town. She treated me to dinner and a theatre show. It was her surprise for me which she had carefully planned. I really like eating out and I enjoy the theatre very much. She noticed. I felt so loved.

I could write of the many other things that Deborah did to show her love for me but I would not stop writing. But I will share just one more ...it became quickly apparent when we began living together that I am not a talkative person in the morning, it takes me a little while to wake up. I admit in those months we spent at the farm, it was mostly Deborah who rose first in the mornings which meant I could sleep for that little bit longer. It was also her sensitivity that made her gentle in the mornings, even though she is talkative and much more lively than I am. She didn't get offended by my quietness and I never felt forced to talk. We ended up having some extraordinary God mornings as a result.

We had to wake up a bit earlier than usual yesterday, Deborah asked me at what time I wanted to wake up. I had the choice of the early slot or the later one. I chose the earlier one. She woke up first. She didn't complain. She didn't say anything at all actually. I know I was wrong, I should mean what I say and say what I mean. I am going to apologise to her as soon as I finish writing this. I value her too much to dishonour her with forgetfulness and laziness. 

"Love your neighbour as yourself"

This isn't just another phrase, it isn't just the topic of a sermon, these are the words of Jesus Christ. His words are spirit and they are life (John 6:63). I have found that once I let go of my selfish desires and decide to intentionally love someone the way I want to be loved, the Kingdom comes and off course it comes with power. 

"And He called unto Him the twelve and began to send them forth two by two and gave them power over unclean spirits and commanded them that they should take nothing for their journey save a staff only, no scrip; no bread; no money in their purse but be shod with sandals and not put on two coats." 

Mark 6:7-9 (KJV)

Our two-by-two walk has given us a glimpse of heaven. We have had no argument, no disunity and held no grudge against each other. We work through issues as they arise and lay them before the Holy Spirit who has taken the burden and taught us how to love. In all of this, we have seen miracle upon miracle of financial provision, deliverance and healing, for ourselves and others. We gave up our jobs, our comforts, our belongings and we put ourselves in the only hand that is trustworthy, the righteous right hand of our God, our King, Jesus Christ. Now we live a life of love and miracles. Glory to God.